Is It Healthy To Have Disagreements In A Relationship

If a fight with your partner ever makes you feel physical, emotional or psychological insecure, it`s a big red flag, according to experts. Couples fight is only healthy as long as it stays fair and safe. Ideally, most disagreements won`t even mean much of everything. A few days after we returned home, my husband and I apologized to each other for our bad behavior – apologizing and owning your mistakes is a key to making conflicts healthy rather than unhealthy – and he said something I found smart enough, that it is unfortunate that the person we care for and love most, is often the main recipient of our negative emotions. He`s right: because I spend most of my time with him and I feel most comfortable with him, he has to hear about it when I feel stressed at work and manage my moods, even if he`s the last person I want to overwhelm with my negativity. Many people cry out at the mere thought of a conflict and cancel it out with a tornado, volcanic eruption or other terrible natural disaster. Understanding why and how conflict can be useful is the first step in changing our perception of conflict. It`s a matter of emotional maturity. Something I haven`t always had, but I`ve gained more ground since I bedant. Much of the research in the field of communication has focused on conflict, as it is an important and inevitable part of a close relationship. Fortunately, this research has found that conflicts can be healthy enough for relationships. Here are three things you need to know about conflicts in relationships to take advantage of the good that can arise from differences of opinion. In fact, says clinical psychologist Deborah Grody, married couples who don`t have conflict are often the ones who end up divorcing.

« Relationships that cannot be saved are relationships in which the flame is completely extinguished, or it was not there, » she says. If one or both partners are indifferent to their relationship, it is not important enough for them to fight, Grody said. Ensuring an optimal work-life balance is one of the key rules for strengthening your relationship. If you think your partner is spending far too much time in the office, it`s time to talk and address the situation. And if you show yourself to each other that a simple disagreement is not much, and that there is no reason to behave badly, your relationship will be so much stronger. The occasional argument is actually a good thing, says Ramani Durvasula, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist and licensed author. « When couples fight, it means they take care of the relationship, » she says. « When the fight goes away, sometimes one or both people leave. » If you don`t fight with your partner, you can report another problem – you may be tired of sharing your real feelings, or you don`t trust your partner to manage your emotions. Certified Relationships coach Steven Dziedzic – founder of the marital counseling app Lasting – says the way conversations begin has a major influence on how it will dissolve. This should challenge couples to be aware of how they begin to engage in dialogue. You see there, I was really happy to see how well we get along.

Because we didn`t fight, or even fought. We disagreed. An action that can put dry wood in the flame of a fight cuts each other off. To avoid this, Chapman suggests that the two parties leading a conversation agree on a time frame so that each person can share their thoughts and feelings. Setting time limits helps you focus on listening, because you know when you`re talking, and you don`t need to interrupt yourself to score a point during the other person`s seemingly eternal tirade.

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